• Columbia Hockey Writers

Captain Dunn Honoured, Subsequently Robbed

Mark Rassell,


WASHINGTON D.C---


“It’s the end of the world as we know it” said a great Newfoundland band once. Actually, they said it 16 times in the 2 minutes 41-second-long song. If you have nothing to do during your self-isolation, I recommend you give it a listen or twelve, it is very catchy.

Despite it being the end of the world and society seemingly changing overnight, some things have remained the same, as a Columbia hockey player still managed to get robbed. But before we get to that we must know a little bit of background information:

“Columbia University is a private Ivy League research University in New York City. Formerly known as King’s College, established in 1754 on the grounds of Trinity Church, then moved to its current spot in Morningside Heights in 1896 and renamed Columbia University, one of the nine colonial colleges founded before the Declaration of Independence, seven of which belong to the Ivy League” said that one superfan from Bristol, Connecticut, way back when talking to Zack Marcil about the upcoming STAC vs. Columbia game. But since we all already knew that, let’s get to some more recent history.

Columbia forward and captain Andy Dunn was named an ACHA Division 3 All Atlantic Regional First Team Allstar. Andy Dunn posted 73 points in 17 games. Freshman Defenceman Weston Goodman had 39 points in 17 games on his way to being named an ACHA Division 3 All Atlantic Regional Second Team Allstar. There are 35 teams in the Atlantic Conference. This is a major accomplishment for these players and for the university. In other news, our senior reporter Zack Marcil was snubbed from the region's All Senior Reporter Team.



Andy Dunn was also named a Second Team All-American. This means he was voted as a top 6 forward in all of the United States ACHA Division 3 hockey. For all of our Quant sabermetric enthusiasts, there are an average of 12 forwards on a hockey team, and there are 128 div 3 teams in the country. Meaning Andy was voted top 6 out of around 1536 forwards. In the words of Columbia superfan and long island resident Frankie Romano: “Holy f**k.” This is an incredible achievement for Andy and for the CUCH Hockey program. If you see Andy around the Upper West Side, buy him a Green Fostah. An underlying story is how Andy achieved all of his athletic success while serving as the team president, assistant treasurer, captain, leading scorer, 7th hardest worker, and founder of the Columbia Hockey Goofy Smiles club, which currently has one member.

Since achieving this incredible accomplishment, Andy Dunn has been robbed of the opportunity to be honoured nationally. With the White House shutting down to deal with the COVID-19 outbreak, President Trump and his staff had to regrettably cancel the annual ‘All American ACHA Div. 3 Second Team Allstar Forwards’ visit. An event that honours the recently named All American ACHA Div. 3 Second Team Allstar Forwards. I spoke to Andy on the phone the other day and he eloquently stated that he was “disappointed, but not surprised.” In response to the cancellation, President Trump tweeted “SAD.”

Mark Rassell is a Junior Reporter for the Columbia University Men’s Hockey Lions. His current residency has led him to begin to enjoy the Newfoundland grown band ‘Great Big Sea.’ He is practicing responsibility by social distancing. He has done so for the last 7 months since his wife left him. Please call him back, Shannon.

130 views

Proudly created and maintained by the 2018-2019 Columbia University Hutchmen.

© 2019 by Columbia University Ice Hockey.​